Why I Stopped Listening to Advice from People Whose Lives I Don’t Like

Why I Absolutely Refuse to Take Life Advice from People Whose Lives I Don’t Admire

About “financial egregors,” toxic marriages, and why losers often know how to live your life

Have you ever noticed that the most ardent advice on raising children comes from those who yell at their own children in line? And the secrets to wealth are revealed by people with three microloans? We live in a world where a person’s level of expertise is often inversely proportional to their willingness to lecture you.

I tried to be polite for a long time until I realized one thing: listening to the advice of those whose life you wouldn’t want to live is the fastest way to duplicate it.

People often like to give me advice. And the thing is, I don’t even ask them. But they’re all convinced they know better how I should live. This would make sense if these people were successful in their own lives. But the less successful a person is, the more they meddle in other people’s lives. Maybe it’s easier to ignore your own problems?

Comic style art depicting bad financial literacy and credit card payment stress

The Institution of Marriage and “Advice from the Ruins”

When I was in university, many people told me I should start a family. They started families and gave me advice. By the time I graduated, I wasn’t married yet, and they were already divorced with children.

Time passed. People continued to write and call me with this question, as if it were the only thing that mattered in life. They weren’t interested in whether I was in a relationship at all, or whether I was happy. They were interested in the process.

Later, those who had advised me to “get married quickly” filed for a second divorce. Only then did the stream of moralizing dry up.

The same thing happened with children: I was asked, “When are you going to have children?” even when I wasn’t in a relationship. One of these “advisers” is now an alcoholic and barely sees her children — their grandmother takes care of them. She only yells at the children themselves, believing they’re interfering with her enjoyment of life.

Family advice only carries weight from those who’ve been happily married for 20 years, not from those going through a divorce.

Language barrier and fear of change

Other advisers always spoke sarcastically about my language courses. They said it was a waste of time, unnecessary. Better to just go for a walk. But I enjoyed the courses, and I always liked people who spoke a second foreign language or several. I thought they were very smart. Then I started learning another language. And I stopped associating with people who didn’t like it.

Languages ​​allow you to explore another culture and broaden your horizons. It’s like art. Knowing an additional language significantly broadens your horizons.

Eventually, I realized: those people were simply afraid. They were afraid that I would start traveling and seeing the world while they remained stagnant.

People often criticize your development simply because your growth highlights their own immobility and laziness.

The Magic of Loans and Financial Reality

One of my friends was always teaching me about financial literacy. She thought she was a pro at it. But she herself was mired in loans, which consumed most of her income.

But instead of admitting her mistake, she resorted to magical thinking. She doesn’t see the problem with her loans. According to her, the debt isn’t the result of spontaneous purchases, but rather of an “egregor” - an invisible being that drains her financial energy. But she does allow herself to take vacations lasting a week or more. Apparently, it’s this egregor that forces her to take out new loans for vacations she can’t afford.

It’s all clear: if you don’t have loans, you save money. If you have loans, you pay for them.

I have a rule: if I can’t afford something, I just don’t buy it. No money, no vacation. By the time she pays off her loans, those things will be a year, two, five years out of date… And the money will be lost forever.

I’m vs Advices

You can’t listen to advice from people who don’t live the life you’d like. If someone who’s never left their hometown tells you that life elsewhere is bad, that’s not advice. It’s fear and perhaps envy that you’ve decided to pursue their unfulfilled dream.
What can I learn from those whose goals are radically different from mine?

I will never listen to anyone who has achieved less than me in a field they’re interested in. This is obvious:

🟡 If you want to be an artist, go to an artist;

🟡 If you want financial freedom, read Warren Buffett;
🟡 An IT executive wouldn’t ask a grandmother who’s been knitting socks for 50 years for strategy advice. She’s a master of her craft, but they’re worlds apart.

Now, when someone tries to impose their worldview on me, I simply look at the result. If the result doesn’t inspire me, the advice goes into the trash without a shadow of a doubt.

Clearing out the noise of unsolicited opinions is a crucial step in taking control of your digital marketing space. Once you stop following the crowd and ignore irrelevant viral trends, you can focus on growth strategies that actually reflect your unique vision. Authentic creativity starts when you stop looking for validation and begin using the right promotion tools to express your own thoughts. Finding inspiration in the ordinary is a skill that sets successful creators apart from the rest. To discover how to see potential where others see nothing, you should read my next essay: Keyboard Instead of Piano: The Art of Finding Ideas Where Others See Emptiness. Let's start creating from within!

Insider Tip: To truly master personal finance, you must understand that it’s not about marketing - it’s about the psychology of tribes. If you want to understand how online communities, consumer subcultures, and debt-driven societies think, I highly recommend reading "Tribes" by Seth Godin on Amazon. It perfectly explains why people choose the comfort of a struggling crowd over individual financial freedom.

Instead of collecting other people’s opinions, I collect ideas and turn them into things. I create what I find important and aesthetically pleasing. If my philosophy resonates with you, perhaps you’ll find something valuable and cute in my work? 🦝

What’s the most absurd piece of unsolicited advice you’ve ever received? Let us know in the comments, and let’s put together a collection of “bad advice”!

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