Why I Stopped Listening to Advice from People Whose Lives I Don’t ike
About “financial egregors,” toxic marriages, and why losers often know how to live your life.
Have you ever noticed that the most ardent advice on raising children comes from those who yell at their own children in line? And the secrets to wealth are revealed by people with three microloans? We live in a world where a person’s level of expertise is often inversely proportional to their willingness to lecture you.
I tried to be polite for a long time until I realized one thing: listening to the advice of those whose life you wouldn’t want to live is the fastest way to duplicate it.
People often like to give me advice. And the thing is, I don’t even ask them. But they’re all convinced they know better how I should live. This would make sense if these people were successful in their own lives. But the less successful a person is, the more they meddle in other people’s lives. Maybe it’s easier to ignore your own problems?
Time passed. People continued to write and call me with this question, as if it were the only thing that mattered in life. They weren’t interested in whether I was in a relationship at all, or whether I was happy. They were interested in the process.
Later, those who had advised me to “get married quickly” filed for a second divorce. Only then did the stream of moralizing dry up.
The same thing happened with children: I was asked, “When are you going to have children?” even when I wasn’t in a relationship. One of these “advisers” is now an alcoholic and barely sees her children — their grandmother takes care of them. She only yells at the children themselves, believing they’re interfering with her enjoyment of life.
Family advice only carries weight from those who’ve been happily married for 20 years, not from those going through a divorce.
Languages allow you to explore another culture and broaden your horizons. It’s like art. Knowing an additional language significantly broadens your horizons.
Eventually, I realized: those people were simply afraid. They were afraid that I would start traveling and seeing the world while they remained stagnant.
People often criticize your development simply because your growth highlights their own immobility and laziness.
But instead of admitting her mistake, she resorted to magical thinking. She doesn’t see the problem with her loans. According to her, the debt isn’t the result of spontaneous purchases, but rather of an “egregor” — an invisible being that drains her financial energy. But she does allow herself to take vacations lasting a week or more. Apparently, it’s this egregor that forces her to take out new loans for vacations she can’t afford.
It’s all clear: if you don’t have loans, you save money. If you have loans, you pay for them.
I have a rule: if I can’t afford something, I just don’t buy it. No money, no vacation. By the time she pays off her loans, those things will be a year, two, five years out of date… And the money will be lost forever.
What can I learn from those whose goals are radically different from mine?
I will never listen to anyone who has achieved less than me in a field they’re interested in. This is obvious:
Instead of collecting other people’s opinions, I collect ideas and turn them into things. I create what I find important and aesthetically pleasing. If my philosophy resonates with you, perhaps you’ll find something valuable and cute in my work? 🦝
What’s the most absurd piece of unsolicited advice you’ve ever received? Let us know in the comments, and let’s put together a collection of “bad advice”!
Have you ever noticed that the most ardent advice on raising children comes from those who yell at their own children in line? And the secrets to wealth are revealed by people with three microloans? We live in a world where a person’s level of expertise is often inversely proportional to their willingness to lecture you.
I tried to be polite for a long time until I realized one thing: listening to the advice of those whose life you wouldn’t want to live is the fastest way to duplicate it.
People often like to give me advice. And the thing is, I don’t even ask them. But they’re all convinced they know better how I should live. This would make sense if these people were successful in their own lives. But the less successful a person is, the more they meddle in other people’s lives. Maybe it’s easier to ignore your own problems?
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| Image created with Gemini AI |
The Institution of Marriage and “Advice from the Ruins”
When I was in university, many people told me I should start a family. They started families and gave me advice. By the time I graduated, I wasn’t married yet, and they were already divorced with children.Time passed. People continued to write and call me with this question, as if it were the only thing that mattered in life. They weren’t interested in whether I was in a relationship at all, or whether I was happy. They were interested in the process.
Later, those who had advised me to “get married quickly” filed for a second divorce. Only then did the stream of moralizing dry up.
Family advice only carries weight from those who’ve been happily married for 20 years, not from those going through a divorce.
Language barrier and fear of change
Other advisers always spoke sarcastically about my language courses. They said it was a waste of time, unnecessary. Better to just go for a walk. But I enjoyed the courses, and I always liked people who spoke a second foreign language or several. I thought they were very smart. Then I started learning another language. And I stopped associating with people who didn’t like it.Languages allow you to explore another culture and broaden your horizons. It’s like art. Knowing an additional language significantly broadens your horizons.
Eventually, I realized: those people were simply afraid. They were afraid that I would start traveling and seeing the world while they remained stagnant.
People often criticize your development simply because your growth highlights their own immobility and laziness.
The Magic of Loans and Financial Reality
One of my friends was always teaching me about financial literacy. She thought she was a pro at it. But she herself was mired in loans, which consumed most of her income.But instead of admitting her mistake, she resorted to magical thinking. She doesn’t see the problem with her loans. According to her, the debt isn’t the result of spontaneous purchases, but rather of an “egregor” — an invisible being that drains her financial energy. But she does allow herself to take vacations lasting a week or more. Apparently, it’s this egregor that forces her to take out new loans for vacations she can’t afford.
It’s all clear: if you don’t have loans, you save money. If you have loans, you pay for them.
I have a rule: if I can’t afford something, I just don’t buy it. No money, no vacation. By the time she pays off her loans, those things will be a year, two, five years out of date… And the money will be lost forever.
I’m vs Advices
You can’t listen to advice from people who don’t live the life you’d like. If someone who’s never left their hometown tells you that life elsewhere is bad, that’s not advice. It’s fear and perhaps envy that you’ve decided to pursue their unfulfilled dream.What can I learn from those whose goals are radically different from mine?
I will never listen to anyone who has achieved less than me in a field they’re interested in. This is obvious:
🟡 If you want to be an artist, go to an artist;
🟡 If you want financial freedom, read Warren Buffett;
🟡 An IT executive wouldn’t ask a grandmother who’s been knitting socks for 50 years for strategy advice. She’s a master of her craft, but they’re worlds apart.
Now, when someone tries to impose their worldview on me, I simply look at the result. If the result doesn’t inspire me, the advice goes into the trash without a shadow of a doubt.
🟡 An IT executive wouldn’t ask a grandmother who’s been knitting socks for 50 years for strategy advice. She’s a master of her craft, but they’re worlds apart.
Now, when someone tries to impose their worldview on me, I simply look at the result. If the result doesn’t inspire me, the advice goes into the trash without a shadow of a doubt.
Instead of collecting other people’s opinions, I collect ideas and turn them into things. I create what I find important and aesthetically pleasing. If my philosophy resonates with you, perhaps you’ll find something valuable and cute in my work? 🦝
What’s the most absurd piece of unsolicited advice you’ve ever received? Let us know in the comments, and let’s put together a collection of “bad advice”!
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